Best friend forever. I love you Mike Hammond.

Best friend forever. I love you Mike Hammond.

“What a treacherous thing to believe that a person is more than a person.” 

What is an “instant” death anyway? How long is an instant? Is it one second? Ten? The pain of those seconds must have been awful as her heart burst and her lungs collapsed and there was no air and no blood to her brain and only raw panic. What the hell is instant? Nothing is instant. Instant rice takes five minutes, instant pudding an hour. I doubt that an instant of blinding pain feels particularly instantaneous.

I didn’t know what to say to her - I was caught in a love triangle with one dead side.
I could try to pretend that I didn’t care anymore, but it could never be true again. You can’t just make yourself matter, and then die, Alaska, because now, I am irretrievably different, and I’m sorry I let you go, yes, but you made the choice.
I felt the unfairness of it, the inarguable injustice of loving someone who might have loved you back but can’t due to deadness.


Japanese gum

I used to know this girl Who gave her love away To every guy she met And with all the games they played She never seemed to cry She never got upset And one by one they came And one by one they left I thought that I could fix her If she would let me in But all of my advances Were shut down in the end When days turned into months I begged her to explain And this is what she sang

It’s not like I’m a slut Or that I really like to fuck I just want every boy I see To walk away with part of me Until there’s nothing left to hold Until there’s nothing left to hate I appreciate your help But even you can’t save me from myself

I used to know this boy Who took notes in a book But he ripped out all the pages Before I got a look At all the words he scribbled At all the lines he filled But the ink stains on his fingers Told me he was skilled At capturing a feeling That most of us just miss The simple pain of living With goodbyes on our lips I found one of the pages Crumpled by her bed And this is how it read

It’s not like I am weak Or that I don’t know how to leave It’s just that every time you cheat You bring me closer to defeat

Until there’s nothing left to love Until there’s nothing left to say I know that you need help But even I can’t save you from yourself